The physical abuse came in many forms, like a slap to the ear he called a thick ear, a knuckle to the top of the head he called a crow peck, a size 9 up the ass, pulled by the hair, pulled by the ear, a stick across your bare ass, an electrical cable doubled over across your bare ass. He would make you pull your pants down and bend over so he knew he had complete control over you. And the daily screaming of profanities such as, you fucking idiot, dumb cunt, drongo, nitwit, imbecile, knuckle head, buffoon, dickhead, fuckhead, are you stupid or something? Are you dumb or something? What the fuck is wrong with you? This sort of verbal abuse degrades a child and their sense of self-worth leaving them feeling dependent on the abuser, another control technique used by narcissist. This is not normal. When it is done to an autistic child who takes everything said literally it has devastating effects.
The extent of the floggings when I did something wrong were severe, the fact that these could happen at any time even if I didn’t do anything wrong would create an environment of permanent fear. The stories of the unnecessary violence perpetrated towards offenders when Dad was an active police officer, and the constant threat of him “knocking my block off” if I “do that again”, left me in a state of constant anxiety. I now know this is not normal and it is PTSD.
Animal cruelty is a trade mark of the narcissist. Dad owned up to 20 greyhounds at once and they all got live kills. This would be done at what he called “The chook track “. As children we would be holding greyhounds and watching as a live chook was dragged around a track and the greyhound would catch and kill it at the end, and if it didn’t die it would go around again with another greyhound. He would catch a possum and tie it in a hessian bag, let the greyhounds chew at it for a while and then let it out for a greyhound to run down and catch. The possum would claw at the greyhounds face before it was killed, he said he did this to make the greyhound chase harder. The countless number of neighborhood cats that were trapped, either live kills for greyhounds or just killed, with no concern for how the owner would feel about losing a pet. As a child I would watch this and believe it was normal behaviour and that this is how I should act to make my father proud. I now know this is not normal and they have made laws to stop people like this.
If my siblings are upset because I have talked about these things I ask why? If they are normal what is the problem. They are not normal and that is the problem. For anyone who thinks my recollection of these events are untrue or distorted over time, they are played over and over again in my head and they don’t change, that is the problem and it is called PTSD. I haven’t done anything wrong, I am the victim of narcissistic abuse and I should not be criticized for speaking up and telling the truth.
Dad knew what he was doing was wrong as we would always be told not to tell anyone. He just believe he had a right to do these things, that he was special and rules didn’t apply to him. This is the type of Narcissists I believe my father to be.