I felt pretty confident about Dad but Mum……. now that was a different story. I had a theory but if I am honest I was too scared to believe it. And being autistic I needed proof. I know that Mum has complete control over Dad, his money and how it is spent and what he is allowed to do. He is completely besotted with her. What personality has control of a Narcissist? Like I said……… it scared me.
She would ring me through my separation from my wife and all our conversations went the same way. She would say I have had a head injury and I am not thinking straight despite me telling her over and over that I have had two brain scans and a specialist report saying I have no brain damage from my accident. She would not listen to what I was saying to her and always talk over me. She would change the subject and then tell me how I felt instead of listening to how I felt. I would be stirred up to no end, I didn’t know what was going on and eventually I decided not to talk on the phone with her any more. I realized that being around both Dad and Mum was toxic for me, I needed to restrict the time I spent around them to just family gatherings to see my brothers and sisters.
With that in mind, In October 2021 I went to their house to discuss the separation of business assets accumulated over a ten year period which we shared the costs 50/50 in for the benefited of the both of us. The ordeal of dealing with Dads personality and the potential for conflict caused me to avoid this critical point in the winding up of my business after my accident, this unresolved situation was causing me a lot of anxiety. When I asked Dad about how we should divide our shared assets his reply was that they are his now. I asked how he can claim assets we both paid for and as expected his hands went up and he said, “well you are out of the game and they are all mine now”. These are assets I was building up for my retirement and since the accident they have become even more valuable to me as I am physically unable to work as I had before. He knows I am permanently, physically and mentally disabled and now he is claiming he owns my assets. He is delusional and I reacted to it, I called him “a disgusting piece of shit”. Now remember I knew he was a narcissist at this stage and I told him what I really thought about what he was doing to me. The details of this conversation are in my statement later. What’s important is that Mum took control of the situation as per normal and asked for me to email her and she would sort the problem out. I emailed a list of assets and prices.
Now autism comes with a defiance component, explained to me by my councillor, the more I am pushed the more I will push back. Now that I had started saying what I thought of him, I told him what I thought of other things he had done, that I could previously never have said.
I sent a list of all the things I had paid for to show him what I actually owned, I have receipts to back up everything on the list. I still gave a below market value for all items so my family could not complain and then I further discounted some of the items I didn’t really want to charge him for if early payment was made. I also offered for them to pay it off at my home loan interest rate. Mums reply was disgusting as well.
Disguised in concern is manipulation in many forms, one is described by psychologist as insidious, “Gaslighting”. Trying to make me believe I am not of my right mind in asking for my company assets. These purchases all appear in my MYOB file and reconciled with the company bank statement. Mum tried to convince me they would never take what is not theirs, when Dad had just said the assets were “his now”. Mum is so good at gaslighting that she manipulated a situation whereby they owed me money, and I am left feeling like I am the one in debt and should be buying them a pub lunch in apology. The reality is that I have loaned them more money than they have loaned me.
Finally the reactive abuse. They have made more out of the discussion over the separation of assets than what it actually was. Yelling and shouting is normal behavior for Dad, the last time I was there Mum had to ask him to calm down. I raised my voice but it is normal for us. There was no hostile behavior or conflict. This is repeated throughout mums emails to make more out of it than what it was. The abusive manipulation is through all her emails but the threat at the end of her second email was of great concern to me.
“Eddie you have some decision to make, I sincerely hope your choice will be to live in harmony with your family.”
What did they have to do with this?
This threat was carried out as you will see later in an email from my sister. None of my siblings have contacted me to resolve this, WHY?She does not want them to know the truth, she has told them what they need to hear so they don’t contact me. I have asked for my sister to help sort this out. It’s as simple as looking at the books.
This level of manipulation and coercion goes beyond a narcissist and it has confirmed what I thought. I believe she is a Sociopath. This is what she is trying to hide at any cost, even if it cost the relationship between her son and the relationship between siblings. Most narcissists are not aware what they are but most sociopaths are aware from a very young age. They have hid this secret their entire life and will stop at nothing to do so. They lie at will to make others believe they are good people.
When this level of manipulation and coercion is done in a family setting it is extremely dangerous. The victims are completely unaware of what has happened and the effects can last their entire life time. Here are the basic behavioural traits of a Sociopath.
I have studied sociopaths more and checked the top 10 jobs of Sociopaths and there it was, Politian. Mum was a federal member of parliament. They are masters of networking the hell out of people to get what they want. They know what people want to hear and they say it to them so sincerely. They are masters of faking emotions as they have done so from childhood, this is because they have none.
They are attracted to jobs around disabled people as they are easy to manipulate. Mum worked at Multicap for disabled people before politics. Sociopaths also like to own businesses, Mum and Dad owned a shop and they now own DJ and SK Elson. This gives her what she needs, power and control.
It is common for them to have no sense of smell, Mum needs us to smell the milk to check it for her. They have no circle of close friends as they are afraid they will be caught out, Mum does not maintain close friendships.
This link explains what Sociopaths are capable of.