In this email I am aware of what she is trying to do. I call her on the abuse she is inflicting but I don’t call it abuse, I know she would not acccept that. I was still trying to have a relationship with my parents and was not ready to except that going “No Contact” was my only chance of happiness.
Email sent on the 14/10/2021
“Hi mum, I don’t think asking if I am ok in reply to a equipment price list is an appropriate time to do so. I would of thought that when we were having a cup of coffee would of been more appropriate time. How ever since you asked I will tell you again. I have had several brain scans and have a specialist report saying there was no damage to my brain, not during the accident and not after the accident. I have no memory loss in relation to the accident. I am not sure why you keep saying this. My memory loss is in relation to PTSD. As discuss with Dad during our conversation on PTSD at the table I have a PTSD reaction to some of his behaviours. As I said then I would just like to talk and resolve this issue so I can come and have a cuppa with my mate more often. Neither Dad or you have talked to me about it since and this saddens me deeply. I have been left to deal with this with the help of friends and professional help and to limit the time I spend with Dad, who has always been my best mate. I miss him dearly during these times. When I am not suffering PTSD my memory has been proven to be above average. I am aware when I am suffering from PTSD and I will only respond when I am mentally capable to do so. I can only assume that you are talking about my recollection of the fire. There are several people who know what really happened and my phone records will show the two phone calls I made and the length of time before Dad phoned me to say it was all burnt. It will show that I did call him before I left. Not only is my recollection exceptional it is probably the only true version being told. The fire has devalued the extraction plant by $60,000 costing around me $30,000 in resale price. I received $27,000 in insurance money, lost assets in the fire and came at an extreme emotional cost. I did not benefit in any way from this fire. If you would like to discuss my recollect of the fire I am more than willing to do so. I am very honest and not only do I not like my disabilities use against me in a discussions it is considered heinous in the eyes of the law.
When talking to Dad about our shared assets and sorting them out Dad replied “ no they are mine now”, when i calming replied how can you think you own assets we paid haft each for he replied ”your out of the game and there mine now”. This is what caused the PTSD reaction you saw. However I do think that anyone who is refusing to pay for and is claiming assets from their son, a physically handicapped person with a known mental condition with no capacity to earn is a discussing piece of shit. However the volume it was said and the number of times it was said was a PTSD reaction. I am glad that you mentioned in your letter that you guys will never claim something that is not yours, this gives me allot of relief from my PTSD symptoms.
The $20,000 loan. Are you ok, do you have Alzheimer’s? It doesn’t feel good does it. I know you don’t have Alzheimer’s but you were under allot of stress and Dad was heavenly medicated. And you were not told the whole story. I did not wish to both you for the $15,000 you owed me that was 6 months overdue. I contacted Selma to see if anyone in the family could help me. She replied with a text message saying I needed to ring you. And a link to a finance company which was useless. I had no other option but to ask for the money you owed me. You debated the bill and said you didn’t want the pallets and said you would see if you could get it. I nearly lost my house because you had not paid your bill. I had arrange for the other $5000 off Carl. When I said no one else would help I meant no one in our family. You later changed your mind and said you did want the pallets. Meaning if you had just paid your bill I would not of gone through the stress I did. When I said thankyou it was because it put an end to the stress. At best you have loaned me $5000 and considering the value of the equipment of mine that you will most likely need to operate, I have been doing you a favour but that will depend on what equipment you wish to purchase. Hard for you to understand this with everything that was going on in your life at the time and you not knowing what was going on in my life. I don’t think that either of us can claim moral high ground in the current situation. I think it is best to communicate by email. You need to understand that once my PTSD is triggered my logical brain is not longer functioning and I am operating in survival mode, fight or flight and my logical brain no longer has control. This is why I wanted to talk to dad about my PTSD so we can create an environment that I can come and have a cuppa with my parents and not have you trigger these outburst you talk about. Telling me you are not paying for the assets we are hafts in and that they are yours should never have been said and there should never have been an outburst. Everything I have said in here is 100 factual and if you take to time to understand it or maybe even research it for yourself It will lead to a much more harmonious relationship for all of us and that is my wish from this.
But this is business and I don’t think bringing my personal life into it is helpful so lets just stick to the facts. The prices given are below market value but if you think you can purchase them cheaper we will sell them and you can purchase what you want. If there is something that you think is not mine or we are not hafts in let me know. I have impeccable digit records and I may be able to help you. As Elson Apiaries Pty ltd is a company we must follow company law. Taking personal advantage from a company carries a $15,000 fine. I can not afford this with my current situation nor can I afford to carry dads business venture. You don’t need a loan, just work out what you want, pay if off and cover the cost I incur on my load from that money. this is quite simple and reasonable and it should never of got to a point of bring my personal situation into it.“
Eddie