Being autistic is my disorder, though not aware of it, I have had it my entire life. Autism is a neurological learning disorder which causes an overstimulation of the senses. This is further complicated more by PTSD as they both occur at the same time, one causing the other. I have had PTSD, Depression and anxiety from at least the age of 12. but I just thought it was normal. Living with the constant pain from my injuries has caused servere Anxiety and impacted my ability to cope. All these condition have been diagnosed by professional doctors.
I had the usual signs of Autism, I had a stutter as a child, I was kept back a grade in primary school, unexplainable pains throughout my body, but it went unnoticed. The best was to explain my communication problem is that everything is crystal clear in my head but I cannot speak it, think of it like a stutter.
My conditions are not unique or special rather they are very predictable. Like any medical diagnosis they follow set guidelines and always have a cause, it is all detailed in the DSM-5. Saying that PTSD, Depression and Anxiety happen for no reason is like looking at an X-ray of a broken bone and saying it happened for no reason, there has to be a trauma.
The first 18 months after birth is critical for a childs development and Narcissistic intervention is a known cause of PTSD, Depression and Anxiety. If you ask my father he would say that I had the privilege of him looking after me as a toddler, something my siblings missed out on. He also believes he was also suffering from PTSD. If you ask a Psychologist they would say that Narcissistic intervention at this crucial time is a possible cause of Autism.
Now I can’t say for sure that my father has caused my Autism but what I can say for sure is that I have none of the facial distinctions for genetic Autism. I can not pin point any one moment in my childhood as it was full of Narcissistic physical abuse, anger, cruelty, conflict, fear, Sociopathic control, manipulation, coercion, ever changing rules, never being able to please either parent. All these things not only have an affect on an Autistic childs development but can actually cause the learning disorder itself.
I speak freely about this as I understand it is just Mum and Dads personalities and they have no control over it. They too are neither special or unique, and all their traits are outlined in the DSM-5. They are who they are and anyone who does not follow their narrative will get the same treatment, just like my brother did.
Autism has affected how I have raised my children, a tough pill to swallow. Whether you believe people are born this way or are a product of their raising, I am the way I am because of my parents. My parents are the way they are because of their parents, they both had abusive upbringings. I cannot forgive myself for how I have affected my children’s lives, without forgiving my parents for how they have affected my life. They have no more control over their personality disorders than I have had over my neurological learning disorder.
However neither one has empathy and therefore will never see any reason to change. I am aware of my condition and it comes with extreme empathy. This gives me a reason to change, I care how I affect others.
I have NDIS support which is putting me through therapy to help me with PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, help with daily life at home, to improve relationships, learning, life choices and community participation. To learn what is normal and to help me with the challenges ahead without family support.
I am happy with the person I am. I am honest, I have a strong sense of right and wrong, I am loyal, I have empathy for others, remarkable focus and persistence, aptitude for recognising patterns, and attention to detail. These are all personality traits that I am proud of. I would not be who I am today without my parents. With the help of NDIS support I look forwards to putting 47 years of abuse behind me and a future without depression.
It is quite ironic that all I wanted was to get some of what I have paid for and get away from these people. Mum and Dads actions in telling everyone I am attacking them has lead me to have to do this page, tell the truth and get them out of my life. They will consider me telling the truth as attacking them.
Here are all the Emails and text messages in chronological order. Mum has put an end to any chance of resolving this amicably. I will point out the abuse techniques used in each email. I will update this page with every action taken by both parties so there can be no more lies and their actions will be seen by all. I hope this puts an end to this financial abuse.